Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Desparate Times, Desparate Measures

I guess it can be hard for guys to get beat by a girl, something that Ironman Bobby actually has first-hand experience with. It also seems that getting beat by a girl (at anything) is even more painful when the girl is your girlfriend. You may have heard of CGBBMGFS (Can't Get Beat By My GF Syndrome) before. The symptoms make the illness easily diagnosable and include but are not limited to:

- shameless begging
- empty promises
- nudity
- exaggeration
- unrealistic expectations of others
- and an inability to accept reality

Here are some textbook examples of a patient suffering from an extreme case of CGBBMGFS. These examples were found on Twitter:

@j_hirsch "
RT come on y'all! @IronmanBobby with a week left the interview of @j_hirsch is only 30 downloads behind @holisticgurus: www.Ironmanbobby.com"

@j_hirsch "
Peeps, I will get all kinds of naked on the next one, now go to www.ironmanbobby.com so I can beat @holisticguru"

@j_hirsch "
@2for1 I know, I know. But seriously, come on peeps, I must get 30 more downloads!!! www.Ironmanbobby.com"

@j_hirsch "
@bryanhammer dude, surely you could watch it again from your work machine! Come on people, I NEED this one!"

@j_hirsch "@SKDickey watch it and help me win and I will lower taxes, cut debt bring war or peace (u pick), make jobs, schools, take some clothes off"

@j_hirsch "
Judging from my fb status I am close to beating @holisticguru in # of downloads at www.ironmanboby.com go there and download me!"

Often, patients will show symptoms in more than one location. Here, we believe this may be the same patient, but found on Facebook:

John Hirsch I only need 30 more people to download my interview on www.ironmanbobby.com to beat my gf's interview! come on peeps, go to that site! PLEASE! I must win!"

And in the most desparate cases, symptoms can spread to the blogosphere:


If you believe that you or anyone you know may be suffering from CGBBMGFS, please contact the help center immediately at 1-800-YOU-LOSE. Again, that's 1-800-YOUR-GF-IS-AWESOMER-THAN-YOU

Oh, and check out our informational video here.

Thank you.


Sherri said...

this is wikkid

PJ said...

I am fairly certain that there is a Blackberry in John's hand for at least 95% of the pictures I've seen of him. I fear this is a side-effect of the shameless begging symptom. It may be worse than you thought.

Holden said...

How cool that you used a photo from the Ville for this post!

Anonymous said...

whos laughing now.


John "the most downloaded" Hirsch

Anonymous said...

this is from a bunch of quacks